Infidelity and Sex Addiction Counselling

Signs of food addiction:

Eating much more rapidly than normal
Eating alone due to shame and embarrassment
Feelings of guilt due to overeating
Preoccupation with body weight
Depression or mood swings
Awareness that eating patterns are abnormal
History of weight fluctuations
Withdrawal from activities because of embarrassment about weight
History of many different unsuccessful diets
Eating little in public but maintaining a high body weight

Food addiction is characterized by an obsessive/compulsive relationship to food. It can take a variety of forms including bingeing, purging, eating without hunger and grazing. Food addicts engage in "out of control" eating. They spend excessive amounts of time and thought on food and they will often fantasize and plan for when they can be alone to indulge in the behavior. Food addicts usually experience high levels of guilt and shame after getting their food fix.

The physical consequences of food addiction can be weight gain, obesity, high cholesterol, diabetes, heart disease, hypertension, sleep apnea, kidney disease, arthritis, bone deterioration and stroke.
The psychological consequences of food addiction can be depression, anxiety and lowered self-esteem.
The social consequences can be isolation and loss of relationships.

Food addiction is treatable through counseling. Research indicates that people who seek professional therapeutic help have an 80% chance of success in recovery from food addiction. At Living In Freedom Therapy, Gerry uses cognitive-behavioral therapy to identify maladaptive thought patterns and behaviors that have arisen out of unresolved emotional conflicts in a food addict's life. Therapy involves guiding the food addict through a process of extinguishing false thoughts and beliefs. At the same time the old thoughts and beliefs are replaced by new, healthy and adaptive thoughts and beliefs. The result is a significant decrease in food addiction and, in many cases, total success.

Are you a workaholic?

Here are twenty questions from workaholics anonymous:

Do you get more excited about your work than family or anything else?
Are there times when you can charge through your work and other times when you can't?
Do you take work with you to bed? On weekends? On vacations?
Is work the activity you like to do best and talk about the most?
Do you work more than 40 hours per week?
Do you turn hobbies into money-making ventures?
Do you take complete responsibilty for the outcome of your work efforts?
Have your family or friends given up on expecting you on time?
Do you take on extra work because you are concerned that it won't otherwise get done?
Do you underestimate how long a project will take and then rush to complete it?
Do you believe that it is okay to work long hours if you love what you are doing?
Do you get impatient with people who have other priorities besides work?
Are you afraid that if you don't work hard you will lose your job or be a failure?
Is the future a constant worry for you even when things are going very well?
Do you do things energetically and competively including play?
Do you get irritated when people ask you to stop working in order to do something else?
Have your long hours hurt your family or other relationships?
Do you think about work while driving, falling asleep or while others are talking?
Do you work or read during meals?
Do you believe that more money will solve the other problems in your life?

If you answer "yes" to three or more of these questions, you may be a workaholic. Workaholism involves the compulsion to do work despite adverse consequences such as broken marriages, estranged family relationships and neglected social relationships.

There is a difference between hard work and workaholism. Hard workers usually have some balance in their lives whereas workaholics have an obsession with work that is all-occupying to the point where they are unable to maintain healthy relationships, outside interests and/or their personal health.

Like all addictions, it is hard to stop the addicting behavior without professional help and the assistance of other people in the recovering community. Workaholics have strong barriers of denial and often need the intervention of friends or family members to begin seeking help. Once in therapy, the workaholic's rigid beliefs and behaviors are explored in depth. Maladaptive thoughts, beliefs and behaviors are identified, extinguished and replaced by healthier, life-giving thoughts, beliefs and behaviors. The result can be repaired marriages, closer family relationships, better physical health and a sense of peace about life.

Shopping Addiction

Shopping addiction is characterized by compulsive buying. Shopaholics have frequent, maladaptive preoccupation with buying or impulses to buy that are experienced as irresistable, intrusive or senseless. The shopping addict often buys things they do not need or cannot afford. In addition, they spend many more hours shopping than they originally intended.

Shopping addicts experience the highs and lows of other addictions. Their mood is elevated while they are shopping or purchasing and they are able to temporarily forget about stressful life circumstances. Upon completing the shopping spree, there are feelings of guilt and shame and the addict will often turn around and go shopping again. Shopaholics sometimes try to hide their purchases and conceal the inordinate amounts of time they have spent in their addictive activity.

The consequences of shopping addiction can be devastating especially with regard to finances. It leads to crushing debt, theft, loan defaults and other general financial trouble. In turn, the money problems attack one of the pillars of successful marriage: financial health. The result is broken marriages and families.

At Living in Freedom Therapy, Gerry helps the shopping addict identify the root causes of the addiction. The causes of this addiction have been linked to experiences in childhood that include negletful parents, a low sense of self worth and deprivation. Gerry will also guide the shopaholic through techniques for breaking the vicious cycle that looks like this: 1) The person feels anger or stress 2) The person goes shopping 3) The person feels regretful and depressed 4) The person goes shopping again to relieve the regret and depression. It is a cycle where the person gets caught in a trap.

Electronics Addictions

Television

Television addiction is the uncontrollable compulsion to watch television despite harmful consequences. When TV addicts try to stop or cut back, they are often unsuccessful and end up spending many more hours per day watching TV than they originally intended. Television has a numbing effect that draws people in. When people try to quit, there can be intense anxiety or restlessness as they try to adjust to living without TV's relaxing effects.

In addition, habitual television watching over long periods of time has been known to cause lethargy, a lack of motivation, anger and depression. Many responsibilties are put off or completely ignored. There may also be a connection to obesity and the resulting physical health problems which come from a lack of exercise and excessively eating while watching TV. In North America, people watch an average of three hours of television per day.

Video Games

Video game addicts spend excessive time playing computer and video games. They play compulsively and isolate themselves from social contact. The focus is on in-game achievements to the detriment of broader life activities and events. Research on video game addiction is demonstrating similarities to gambling addiction and impulse control disorder. Playing for longer than two hours per day is currently being considered as the benchmark for video game addiction.

Video game addicts may gain or lose significant amounts of weight, have disrupted sleep patterns, and lie to others about the amount of time they have played. Relationships with family and friends can be disrupted and work or school performance may suffer.

Computer and the Internet

The computer has become a gateway to many other addictions such as gambling, pornography, gaming, cybersex, chat rooms, workaholism, shopping and social networking. The computer, along with the internet, provides the perfect source for overdoing activities that interfere with daily life.

Internet addicts tend to have higher rates of depression and anxiety. They use the fantasy world of the internet to escape unpleasant feelings and stressful situations. 50% of internet addicts are also addicted to alcohol, drugs, tobacco or sex.

Gambling

Gambling is one of the few human activities that is universally agreed upon to be a true "addiction." Many uninformed and uneducated people will argue that sex, food, work, electronics and shopping cannot become real addictions. However, the ravaging effects of gambling (suicide, crime, divorce, job loss, financial chaos and lowered health) are well documented and even the most ignorant will say that gambling can develop into a true addiction.

People who are problem gamblers may think that they cannot stop. But problem gambling and gambling addiction are treatable. If the person is ready to admit he/she has a problem and seeks help, the addiction can be overcome and balance will be restored to life.

Canadian Gambling Statistics (Statscan and Canada West Foundation)

As of 2005, there were 87,000 video lottery terminals, 33,000 lottery ticket centres, 60 permanent casinos, 250 racetracks/teletheatres and 25,000 licenses to run various gambling activities. Our governments and many fundraising organizations are "addicted" to gambling revenues (Gerry's opinion). The surge in the gambling industry began in the 1990's when provincial governments began legalizing permanent casinos and VLTs.
Gambling is a $13 billion per year industry in Canada.
18,886,000 Canadians participate in gambling activities. 6.3% (1,191,423) are considered "at risk" or "problem gamblers."
700,000 of those people are considered low risk, 370,000 moderate risk and 120,000 are full-blown problem gamblers.
Saskatchewan and Manitoba have the highest % of "at risk" gamblers.
VLTs are considered the "crack cocaine" of gambling.
50% of problem gamblers report difficulties in relationships with family and friends.
42% of problem gamblers report higher than normal levels of stress.
18% of problem gamblers report suicidal thoughts and contemplation.
64% of problem gamblers believe they cannot quit.
56% of problem gamblers say they have tried quitting but were unsuccessful.
62% of problem gamblers spend more than $1000 per year on gambling.

Substance Addiction

These addictions are wide and varying and include ingestion of a variety of substances such as alcohol, drugs and smoke (nicotine). As with gambling, our society has accepted that the use of these substances can escalate to the point of a true addiction. The consequences are well documented. Substance addicts usually have a combination of one or more of the following: lowered/poor physical health, emotional problems, mental difficulties, broken relationships, suicide ideation, participation in crimes, legal difficulties and financial chaos.

Researchers and helpers have devoted years of study and experience to substance addictions and many methods of treatment have been developed. The bottom line is that substance addictions are treatable and usually involve three things:

One on one counseling to deal with personal issues.
Participation in a 12 step program.
Accountability to others.

The main point is that YOU CANNOT DO IT ALONE!